dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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