Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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