In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
