this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
