I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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