I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
