dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
