The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
