I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
