forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
