So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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