So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
where does the pee come out of this thing
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize