we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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