she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
