I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
