he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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