Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
