haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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