Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
