I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
