I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
