I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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