Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
