HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
