Please, let me fuck your mom
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize