her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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