I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
