They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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