I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
