You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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