Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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