i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
