youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
