So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
