We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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