How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
being pregnant is like rehab
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize