I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
