Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
