Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
