i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
