So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
