Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
