What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
