I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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