Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
