She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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