Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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