You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
