You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
