Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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