need another drink. this is the easiest way
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
