saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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