Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
