my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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