I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
