it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
