Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
