some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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