they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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