The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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